Greetings. A while back, I wrote an article about how much penis Jack Osbourne eats on a regualr basis. I did extensive research and found that he eats a shit load of cock. Many two dollar whores are very jealous.

Anyway, some shit gargling retard saw the article and decided to "write" me a hateful e-mail. The reason I put write in quotation marks is because I really can't think of anything else to call it. See for yourself.

From: ###############<>

Sent: Mon Feb 28 0:39


Priority: Normal

Subject: you are so dame stupit

Type: Embeded HTML/Text

jack is the cools guys on earth your a loser your the one that should be dead do the world a favorand just end it for your self

In no way did I change any part of this e-mail. This is exactly as it was sent to us. I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit! A monkey that can type." I thought the same thing at first. Then I realized that I was insulting monkeys. Not even a down syndrome monkey would type this shitty.

First, let's take a look at the subject line, because we all know those damn subject lines can be tricky. "you are so dame stupit". I guess we'll start with dame. Maybe if this was the 1920's and they were trying to call me a woman, then this would make sense. But it's not and they aren't, so it doesn't. Also, I have never seen anybody mispell the word stupid. Let's get fucking real, even somebody who represents every possible meaning of the word stupid can at least spell it. Or not, apparently.

Now we have the body of this fine literary piece. To tell you the truth, I had a hard time reading this. There aren't any periods or any punctuation to speak of. It's like trying to read the alphabet. The only thing I can think of is either somebody was trying to be cute by writing like a brain-dead quadriplegic or they are in fact a brain-dead quadriplegic. I guess you'd have to be to think that,"jack is the cools guy on earth". I can imagine some limbless retard pounding thier head into the keyboard to express thier undying love for Jack Osbourne. Thats what it looks like at least. My point is, if you have no arms or legs and a barely functioning brain, don't write e-mails. You can still like Jack Osbourne, somebody has to.

Also, a quick disclaimer: If you don't want me to spread your e-mail address to everybody who cares to read it, don't write dumbshit e-mails.

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