Well, it's been a while since I updated. Frankly, I really just haven't cared too much. However, I have been making some observations and it is time to once again spread my words of wisdom. So, sit back, relax, and eat shit.
For some reason, I have been hearing a lot about people committing
suicide. You dumbshit fucking pussies. Is life really that shitty that you
just can't take it anymore? Seriously think about it. It's not like you're
starving in some shit-hole third world country. Unless you are actually starving
in a shit-hole third world country, by all means kill yourself. And congratulations
on finding this site while living in human waste. Anyway, suicide is honestly
never the right decision. Don't think that because I said that it means I
actually care about people and stupid shit like that. Suicide is never an
option because thats how pussies solve their problems. Especially around the
holidays, people are always jumping out of windows and not relying on baby
carriages to break their falls. If you find out that you don't have any money
for your family, fuck it. Living on the streets can be fun. Besides, you can
finally see your kids whore themselves out and be useful for once.
Alright, I'm done trying to save lives for....well, forever. If you think you should kill yourself, then chances are you're probably right. You've already decided that you're a big pussy and that life is too tough. Good, you were breathing all the good air anyway. After you have made the choice to take your own life, do us all a favor and make sure you do it right. If you don't, that means that you are so hopeless that you can't even kill yourself right. Once that happens, it should be perfectly legal for somebody to murder you. You'll be given a special colored shirt or something and people will be able to walk up and shank you whenever they feel like it.
This kid is one of the world's biggest fags. He tried to kill himself because he got a bad grade or some other deusch bag reason, but failed. Now he is waitng for people to walk up to him to kill him with absolutely no repercussions whatsoever. I have hid his identity because if I didn't, he'd probably start to cry and try to kill himself again and do it right. Let's face it, even a blind squirrel finds a nut. Besides, if I showed you who he is, the thrill of the hunt would be lost.
Now, THIS person will go down in history as someone who can get the job done right. I'm just fucking with you, nobody gives a shit about whoever this is. In fact, everybody is glad that they're dead. However, they did manage to finally do something right in the closing minutes of their worthless, pathetic lives. Notice how deep the incision is, a sure sign of craftsmanship. Also, note the location of the cut. Starting at the wrist and curving slightly to cross the forearm, making sure to gash all possible veins. Good job, retard. Have fun being dead.
Make sure to take notes from the above picture if you're contemplating suicide. It's a damn good source for making the world a better place by killing yourself right the first time. I know people. They are stupid. Regardless of the flawless detail of how to kill yourself, I know there are people out there who will still fuck it up. I know some of you are saying,"But Cole, I don't want to kill myself that way. I'm too much of a pussy to do it that way". Fine, feel free to e-mail the site with any questions you may have on alternative forms of suicide. I can give you instructions or original ideas. Good luck with all of your future suicide endeavors. I hope you die.
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