Myspace Dickless Wonders of the USA

Let me start off by saying yes, I to am a member of myspace... However there is no denying the terrible rotting pieces of shit bitch fest this haggard site has become. You're either dealing with ghetto wannabe dipshits who take out their savings and flash around five 20 dollar bills in a picture attempting to be gansta, or you then have your artistic pussy types (more common) who take picture's of themselves on railroad tracks with caption "i'll just wait for death".... terrible terrible terrible. And believe me when I say i'll restrain myself throughout this page, but here are some examples:

Here we have young Cory. Stereotype anyone??? no wait he's being different just like everyone else under 21, great job asshole. This type of myspace asshole posts a blog everyday and will repeatedly post bulletin's to comment on his 'new pic' or read his newest shit print of a blog... Which probably consists of being poor me and we're all rotting and gonna die, same boo hoo shit or maybe even a government conspiracy or two, but likely both. This type of asshole is likely to marry someone within a month of meeting them online and probably spend most of there merry old depressing days with some other psycho that can't handle the reality that you're gonna die. Stop being a pussy, get some sun, and if your'e really that bitter about life I know some great bus's you should catch with your face.



Another fine specimen, at first I thought well this guy isn't hopping on a trend at least then i looked closer. Not only is he not wearing any underwear but he's also from San Francisco... and if you look in the background you see about 3 other males hopping around topless all of whom probably aren't wearing underwear either. Not only does our friend here have an issue with posture but he's also flaming gay (may have something to do with the posture after all) as you can see. And hey he says he gay so cheers. This walking penis has broken probably every rule I set over a year ago about manly men:

When Manly Men Ruled The World - 11/03/04

Speaking of Homo's Moving on.


And then there's Joe, yeah wow i'm kind of at a loss of words here... first thing that comes to mind is: "What the fuck is he doing?" and Why on earth would anyone take this picture and post it online? Well only Joe knows the answer to that, you do have to watch out for those north olmstead / lakewood boys, they're pretty fruity. Just fair warning if your ever around cleveland (I wouldn't recommend it). Apparently Joe is into theatre, which explains why it's dead, it's because assholes like this star in musicals / plays. Joe gets the "What the Fuck are you thinking" Myspace kickingtotalass.com award for his self satisfying pelvic thrusts to the classic rendition of "It's raining Men".




This coat hanger survivor is the reason why i'll never live in California, sure we have our weirdo's where i'm from, but go to California and multiply that by 1000 and you'd probably hear about me in the news with bodies and a chainsaw rampage. Here we have our free spirited chap that's into everything, gangsta rap, punk, emo, spanish pop, pop, rock, heavy metal etc. His free spirit also extends to drugs as well (i'm general speaking of the trend not the individual but you get what i mean). Spends most of his time doing his hair & make-up, refering to everything as rad, when you see him at the bar your almost 100% likely to see his ass crack as he's wearing womens jean with boxers pulled up and being dragged down by his 26 inch waistline belt. He also likely smells like shit and is all artsy gay like and takes pictures of himself in black and white (blending with the emo, oh god i'm gonna die shit heads). This guy takes a little from each trend, i'd call him a fuck, but he's more of a super fuck, built from the ground up with parts of other fucks. Every minute you're around this person you really want to close-line him even if you've known him for awhile. I'd say this guy is pretty fucking terrible but WAIT there's more. I continue:


Remember the Gotti post where I referred to the west side soldier / mcdonalds worker??? Well shit I found his ass again just to share with you all and show you what I was talking about. He lives on the west side of lorain no doubt as he is a west side soldier... I can only wonder what his duties as a soldier may entail, although as he state's he is gangsta style. Not only does he have terrible design setup as i blew the pic up 35% more so you can read it better, it's just amazing too me that this soldier even has access to the internet... I bet Joe here wonders why people glare at him in public like he's an asshole... gee maybe it's the tilted hat or the mongoloid expression of attitude, the real sad part is this soldier can't even afford any ICE, man he must suck at soldiering. No doubt this particular asshole has ICP roots and was at one point down with da'clown, at least he looks like that type of idiot; which I will say for the most part myspace has been sparred of Juggalo's for now. I can only imagine what may happen when the 7 carnivals of chaos align or however that stupid shit goes... god damn ICP eats more dick than any pop culture wave ever, i'd rather hang out with a west side soldier than a Juggalo, and that's saying alot... but if he's a Jugulugulaglo I'd probably hang with him cause ya'know then he's pretty high on the Juggalo totem pole and no doubt has some tattoo's from "the gathering". (only in ohio, idiots)


I could type for hours about this dick cheese... but I dont' really have too, I'm going to paste his info right now, his info:

ummm thur aint much 2 tell exept im 17 i live in gay ass lorain ohio, im the nicest nigga but i don like nigga'z fuckin wit me cuz then i can be a real asshole!!!! so yee u wanna kno anything else get a me! ooo n 1 mo thing "AINT IT NIGGA" lol iight yall peaceeeeee! ~!~SeAn~!~

And why he's constantly refering to himself as a nigga is beyond me... last i knew only black men and women could use that term in public and not have to defend themselves. This kid walks into the wrong pool hall rambling that shit he's bound to get his little ass handed to him. (he's also got a pic flexing, and yeah it's impressive) Then he writes this gay ass poem:

at nite i lay awake thinking of you..i cant sleep,cant eat..sometimes i wonder if i am ever rite...my only wish is to have u forever and always! my only dream is to have u beside me through the falls of life..i may be different, but im like everyone else i have a heart...my heart is to tender it will one day surrender..i love my life as it is. even though it may be tough..my eyes swell with tears,for fear of losing u..i love you with all my heart,u make me happy,make me forget my troubles and fears!

What a dousche bag, he's writing about his broad no doubt at the ripe age of 17 that he's going to be with always and forever... This one i've tried not to laugh at too much because he is young, but god damn I can't help it. If you click on his picture it'll take you right to his myspace. He's a good buddy to the westside soldier. Sean gets the the myspace award for worst myspace poser of 2006, Notice the comment by the pic, Yall nigga'z don wha none" nice going dickhead, just what would 'some' entail??? also the "Bang Bang" gun showing he's online. He'll be in jail soon for something fucking stupid (and probably get a tattoo for it). If I saw my daughter dating this fuck i'd kick her ass then go kick the fathers ass of the idiot that let's his kid walk around like that. Seriously where do west side soldiers see themselves in 5 years???

I'm sure i'll get a ton of hatemail from this posting, but hey i'm just pointing out the idiots of society in hopes they may realize they're being fuck heads. Do you really think you can just snap your fingers one day and be successful? When did being a ghetto wannabe ass clown become an acheivement? Sure I've judged a few people today, so here's your turn as I believe fair is fair. You can find me at: www.myspace.com/jakeharder which is just me, no stupid fucking trends or what have you. Just common sense and a person enjoying life. Try it sometime it's rather nice.

Irony: I'm going to post this page as a bulletin everyday until it gets around to enough people, and by all means do the same as you see fit, after all myspace has a love / hate relationship with many people and i'll use it whore my website around as I see fit. Being tired of reposts as I am i'm just going to repost the shit out of this article.



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