This Game's For You Asshole

Gone into a game store lately? Well since I’m making more money nowadays I tend to buy more video games as well… Enter the game salesman, this dips hit usually ranges from 25 to 40 bearing a distinct hair recession and no matter what will tell you how amazing a game is. Before going on I should also say that these assholes tend to have the worst lines in sales and use many dumb terms like: “man that trailer blew me away, have you reserved it yet? COME ON YOU SAVE 15% ON THE GUIDE!”, “Amazing”, “How Awesome is that?” (usually referring to the games plot or graphics), and dude that’s just insane I was on the edge of my seat man, tears bro, tears.


Ok me browsing the used section (approach by sales rep.): “Dude the graphics are out of site on that man, this game looks great! and with our 10% discount card you’d save 4 bucks.” Then (me buying Indigo Prophecy on play station 2) I walk to the counter and the motivated waste space approaches to find me trading in Ultimate Spiderman for Xbox stating: “Hey why don’t you put down that frame rate (and yes he fucking said put down that frame rate…) and go get Indigo on Xbox and run that bad boy the way it’s meant to be played” Which in the first place this game, as good as it is does not stand out for it’s graphics on any platform… I then retort: “Well my Xbox was bought at it’s original launch and tends to crash, slowdown, and piss me off when playing newer games.” He then retorts back saying: well yeah I suppose HEY doesn’t matter this games kills either way I mean he murders the guy in the first 5 minutes of play and then you try and catch your own main character, I MEAN COME ON HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? (They also tend to read the back of the games feed you the exact lines on the back)

My Main Problem with Game Salesman:

First off who puts on a blind fold and buys a game out of the blue? No one with brains and a budget, ok I don’t need your bias input nor your information on any plot or trailer, I’ve seen it in magazines, the internet, and / or read a review already so don’t feed me your fake ass bullshit. Example, next time your in one of these stores ask about a game you know eats dick, they’ll then completely lie and tell you how great it is, then at this point say well I played it and tell him how terrible it is only to watch them shift right into bashing the game on your account (ala ultimate spiderman… the game consists of: chase scene, boss fight, complete goals:: repeat step about 8 times then games over and no replay included… fun but 6 hours later it‘s thanks for the 50 bucks). Point is the need for a game salesman in the sense that they’ll convince you to buy more then what you want just isn’t realistic unless it’s some stupid old hussies who is shopping for grand kids… then by all means rape them with your 800 dollar packages (which is BULLSHIT by the way Xbox 360 cough cough). But when I’m coming in for Dragon Quest or F.E.A.R. (Latest games purchased) don’t tell me about Quake or digital devil saga (what Mr. Nerd on Cocaine did), yeah hey I’ve seen them both and I’m not buying them and they don’t’ compare to the games I am buying currently dick head.

Motivated Game sellers Eat Dick.


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