Newest Terrible Trend In America

First off what the fuck! When did every dick and charlie think it's a great idea to wear under ARMOR EVERWHERE???


Just look at these assholes. Let me let you in on a secret that is the purpose of under armor. It's original purpose was to protect the user from the wear and tear of wearing football gear (and it breathes well providing a cooler feel when you have 30 pounds of shit on). Later sleeved versions were made to help with turf burn. However usually just tear right through the under armor on turf. These assholes warrant a bit of use out of under armor. As they are on turf, BUT FLAG FUCKING FOOTBALL!!!! Christ lets try and be a bit more homo erotic eh? And don't even get me started on softball players.

None of these guys have any business wearing revealing clothing much less skin tight threads. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I DUB THE UAA. UNDER ARMOR ABUSE! Please, just ask a UAA offender: Dude, why do you have that on right now??? You'll probably get a stupid confused look.

Let me break it down:

Not even that anyone SHOULD wear under armor, but christ if you gotta be "Steve Tuff" lets at least get the tuff part right eh? I work out at a medical center... nice place aside from the crippled old people that smell ungodly terrible, watch golf naked in the locker room (with fucking boat shoes on mind you... lets not get our feet dirty on the way to our seat naked. FUCKING FUCK!). As you might be able to tell this has struck a chord with me.

What do these old bastard do after a couple of debates on the Iraqi war??? They gear up with under armor on, now your thinking well they have regular under armor tee's now Jake. I know, they saw all these useless retards wearing this stuff in public and said hell lets make regular t-shirts... these guys look like assholes.

Back on track however yes these old fucks wear the tight under armor clothing out in the gym, gloves on and some even fanny pack equipped. As if they could only commit one act of gym dress heresy. What the fuck do you need a fanny pack for you old bastard? You got some juice in their? Need you pills with you at all times??? I think not.

Some people just have no clue what the hell is going on in society, what you get is a heckled mess of shit, global warming, and ethanol gas that's got a 1.3 to 1.0 ratio. Great job government conspiracy guy. Idiot.

Horrible style seems to get it roots in the fitness industry (unless you're just a tard, and their are plenty of those as well). But for example here are some photos from this past year's 2007 Arnold Classic Fitness Expo in Columbus Ohio:

It's really something, people go day to day going man I look great wearing this shit! Little tip for you aspiring gym rats, if you flex in the mirror in something and remotely look muscular, remember how often are you flexing in public? About 50 percent right? (yes these jackasses do) so the other halve the time you just look like a friggin pole stroker. Wait want more pics? ok:

And finally, the Transformation begins:

Here we see all the magic begin. This guy looks pretty normal, maybe even dabbles in some heavy weights from time to time. He might even have a decent squat... er wait never mind. A decent squater would never use that vagina inducing contraption that is the vag pad.

Notice the picture of women using it. Yet this guy is clearly explaining the benefits of being a pussy and how this won't let the bar possibly rip your under armor.

Basically, Point in fact is this. If you're going to wear Under Armor, don't do it in public. The gym it's acceptable IF you're in decent shape, not constantly staring at yourself, and not worrying about scuffing the shit.... that's what its fucking made for.


I rest my case.

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